Busted

I woke up really groggy to the sound of banging pipes. I complain about them a lot, but at the same time, I'm not sure I'd wake up properly in the morning without the Room 704 Shower Racket. Maybe I should be thankful. On the bright side, all of my terrible stress from the day before seemed to have calmed itself a bit from the stupor of unconsciousness. The banging sounded oddly distant this morning. Dreamlike, almost.

I remembered that my daughter was missing, felt an uncanny sense of deja vu, and went into her bedroom. Sure enough, she was gone.

I felt a twinge of guilt for not having even tried to locate her the night before. Shame on you, Renshu. Just because she hadn't been hurt the first time she disappeared didn't mean she wasn't kidnapped or mugged or raped or murdered! I tried not to think about that. Honestly, it probably wasn't any of those. I fully believed it had to do with the scenario I had going on at work.

I took a shower, wondering if my pipes were as noisy to room 504 as 704's were to us. Then again, I was making the assumption that the Room 704 shower wasn't noisy to its inhabitants. Perhaps Ms. Lannes was just really, really deaf.

As I was toweling off, something hit me. Not literally. But I was suddenly struck with the fact that my actions today could cost me my daughter or my job. Or both. I was essentially stuck making a choice between the post office and my daughter. If I went to look for Xiu Li, then I wouldn't raise the money necessary to save the post office after all of the time and effort all of the employees had put in. And if I saved the post office, I would be ignoring the fact that my teenage daughter had mysteriously disappeared.

I really despise making last-second decisions. Truly. And yet here I was, having to make what I saw as quite the life-changing decision in less than 5 minutes. Unless I could figure a way out of it... was there a way to save the post office or Xiu Li without my presence? Maybe I could hire a manager for the day, or a detective. Nothing seemed right, though. No, I needed someone who would actually know the entire scenario.

Then I had my brilliant idea. Arjun. He was suspended. And he probably knew Xiu Li pretty well, judging from their... closeness. Maybe he could help. I paused. Was it creepy of me to track down my daughter's teenage friend? I concluded not, since so many things were at stake. I only knew his name as Arjun, though. And there was bound to be more Arjuns. So I enhanced my stalker credentials and called the school.

"Hello, how may I help you?" asked the voice on the other end.
"Yes, I'm looking for a student's home phone number--" How was I going to make this sound less creepy? "--to get in touch with his parents. My daughter and their son were recently involved in a disciplinary matter at the school, and I want to talk to them."
I felt bad for lying, but I told myself that the ends would justify the means. Besides, it was a very smooth excuse.
"What's the student's name?"
"Arjun. He's a sophomore."
"Okay, please hold just a minute, let me check the databases."
I was brilliant.
The lady came back on the line and gave me a number I could call. I was actually hoping that Arjun would pick up the phone when I called, so I wouldn't have to explain anything awkward.

First, I realized, I was going to be late to the office. I called the front lobby of the post office, and Bill picked up. "Hi, it's Renshu," I said. "I'm going to be a little bit late today; my daughter's gone missing."
"I'll keep an eye out for anything related to that," he said, "and we'll see you when you get here."

Then I dialed the number the front office had given me. It rang four times before anyone picked up, and I was getting pretty scared that no one would. But I shouldn't have worried.
A man with a deep voice answered.
"Hello?" Damn. I had to think of something, and fast.
That's when I did the most humiliating thing I've ever done.
My voice isn't exactly deep. It's not that high-pitched, either, but it's in the middle of the range. So I mustered up all my courage, ignored my sense of manhood, and spoke with the most girlish tone I could muster.
"Hi, this is Xiu Li Zheng. Can I speak to Arjun, please?"
"Arjun's in a bit of trouble right now," said the voice.
"Please," I said. "It's actually very important. I promise I won't talk long."
This voice was making my throat hurt. I held the phone away and coughed. I coughed harder in response to what I heard next.
"I don't know who you are," said the voice, now sounding less deep, "but you're definitely not Xiu Li. So what the hell do you want?"
"Arjun?" I asked, in my normal voice.
"Yeah, who is this? You're not funny, you know. I've been prank called before."
"Arjun," I said seriously, "this is Renshu Zheng. And I need your help finding my daughter."
"Oh, damn, sorry, Mr. Zheng," he said. "Wait, what?"
"Xiu Li. She's gone missing. And you're the only one I know of that can help me find her."
"Well, I'm home alone," said Arjun, "so I can pretty much go anywhere you need me to. Where should I meet you?"
"Outside Castle Apartments?"
"I'll be there in ten," he promised.

I headed down the stairs and waited around for Arjun. He arrived a couple minutes early, to my surprise, and running at that. "When did she disappear?"
He was cutting straight to the chase, apparently.
"I don't know. Sometime in the evening last night. She left the post office to go home, and when I got home, she wasn't there."
"Why was she at the post office?"
I figured I should operate on a policy of full disclosure if I actually wanted this kid to find Xiu Li. "Because I have a crazy former boss who called the USPS and told them my office is indebted. I have until 6 p.m. tonight to pay off all the debt he racked up in his time as postmaster."
"Is this Mr. Devilbear or something?"
I laughed. "DuBolaire. Yes."
Arjun grinned. "Xiu Li mentioned him a couple times. I'll try looking around town, and I'll do some research on Mr. -- could you write that down?"
I did as he asked, and he pocketed the sheet of paper. "I'll do my best, Mr. Zheng. I'm as worried as you are."
We parted ways.

Then I headed over to the post office. Marjorie had been doing some more intense loan research. Curt seemed ready to go back and start a street riot outside DuBolaire's office if necessary, and I was trying to talk him down from that. Bill reported proudly that'd he'd gotten another couple of sponsors, and asked if I'd found my daughter.
"No, I haven't," I said. "I have one of her friends looking for her today while I work." I turned around to walk towards my office.
Bill spoke sarcastically from behind me. "You mean to tell me," he said, "that you've appointed a high school detective to look for your teenage daughter while you come up with ineffective fundraisers for a lost cause?"
I turned around. "What?"
"Renshu, there's no way we can do this thing without loans. Do you really expect to raise that much money in 12 hours? This isn't the Muppet movie."
"That was a good movie," said Marjorie absentmindedly.
"I have to try," I said.
"You're not a hero, Renshu," said Bill. "You're a postmaster. And we get that you can only do so much. So why bother working yourself into the ground like this? You can't handle this!"
"Yes!" I shouted. "Yes, I can!"
"Listen to you!" he shouted. "Even now!"
"I'm with Renshu, though," said Curt. "We can't just pick our bellybuttons while DuBolaire sabotages us like this!"
"Enough, all of you," I said. "I don't know what we should be doing. But arguing isn't it."
"What a great idea," said Bill. I'd never seen him lose it like this before. It was making me angry.

The phone broke the awkward silence.
Bill stared at it for the first three rings before picking up.
"Hello?" Then his face changed. "You're kidding. Do you want to talk to him?"
He handed the phone to me.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Zheng, this is Arjun. I'm coming to the post office right now. I have something really, really important to show you."
He hung up.
I was really confused. "What'd he say to you?" I asked Bill.
"He just said that he had to talk to you immediately, because it was about more than just your daughter."
"That's not cryptic at all," said Marjorie.
I paced back and forth across the post office. Arjun arrived running again within five minutes of the time he'd called. He had a few sheets of paper in his hand.
"Mr. Zheng," he panted, "I have the answer to all your problems."

It sounded really dramatic. I was inclined not to believe him.
"Well? Let's see it."
He threw down a sheet of paper on my desk.
I picked it up. There was a mugshot of Mr. DuBolaire at the top of the page. He was much younger, though. His hair was longer (though it still had a lot of gel) and he wasn't cleanshaven. Next to the picture were the words "Carson DuBolaire. 18. Breaking and entering; attempted kidnapping."
"Kidnapping?" I looked up. "You think he took Xiu Li?"
"Maybe," said Arjun, "but I'm getting to that." He threw down a couple more pieces of paper. I'd forgotten completely about the post office. "Mr. DuBolaire also has a restraining order from the orphanage, from when he broke in five years ago to try to steal his daughter, Jane Patterson." Okay, now I was confused.
"What?"
Arjun stopped and sighed. "Mr. Zheng, how much did Xiu Li tell you about her time under the city? Did she mention a girl named Annalisa?"
"Yeah," I said.
"Okay. Well, Jane Patterson is Annalisa's legal name. Xiu Li told me that when we hired a detective to go look for her."
"So what does Jane, or Annalisa, or whatever, have to do with my post office or with Xiu Li's whereabouts?" He was actually starting to irritate me.
Arjun looked at the floor. "Well, first of all, Mr. DuBolaire is a criminal. So you can get revenge on him by busting him."
Bill laughed at that one. "Wow. Great background checks from the USPS."
"And Xiu Li?"
"I don't know. But I do know she's been looking for Annalisa. And my best guess is that Annalisa's disappearance and lack of traceability by the police is connected to Mr. Carson DuBolaire's restraining order."
The kid was sharp, I'd give him that. I just wasn't sure about the connection to my daughter. It seemed a little bit forced.
"Why would he use his real name?" I asked.
"Well, he is crazy," suggested Curt.
That was a fair point.

"I guess our next move is to call the police and head over to the post office, then," I said reluctantly.
Bill picked up the phone.

We all crammed ourselves into one of the mail trucks and headed over there. Only after Curt had finally managed to cram everyone in the back did it occur to me that we could've just taken the bus.
"Are your parents okay with you being out?" I asked Arjun.
"They won't be back until 9," he said. "They both have really long hours."
He hadn't answered my question, but I chose to ignore that.

The police arrived at the post office at the same time that we did. Arjun helped me explain the situation to one of the officers on hand.
They followed us into the building, but stayed out of sight from Mr. DuBolaire's office.
I walked in first.
"Oh, hello, Renshu," said Mr. DuBolaire. "Fancy seeing you here. I'd think you'd be out... begging and burgling, with your current predicament."
"You know," I told him, "as my boss, there were a few things you neglected to tell me about your personal life."
He looked bemused. "Oh, really? What makes you think I would tell you anything of the sort?"
I ignored him. "For instance," I continued, "you failed to mention the fact that you're a known criminal."
He paled.
"So," I said. "How'd you get through the USPS?"
"Why do you think I changed offices?"
I nodded. "So where's your precious daughter, then?"
"None of your business," he snapped. "Why are you here, Renshu?"
I stepped out of the office and motioned for the police to come in.
"Because," I said, "you have been a complete asshole to me, not to mention being a douchebag to Xiu Li, and you did all that knowing that I could so easily wreck your life."

To my complete and utter shock, he dropped to his knees as the police came in. "Please, no!" he screamed. "I just want to be with my daughter! You can't take my daughter away from me! My precious Jane! JANE!"
"I think we can," said the policeman nearest to him, and they handcuffed Mr. DuBolaire and took him out of the building.
As they dragged him off, a policewoman asked him where his daughter was, to which he responded, "You'll never know!"
The policeman who'd remained behind with the rest of us in Mr. DuBolaire's office smirked. Then he went over to the closet, picked the lock, and opened it.

Two girls squinted back at us from the tiny space.
My daughter, Xiu Li, and another girl, taller, with darker hair. I assumed she was Annalisa.

They looked really surprised to see us. I smiled, trying not to think about what would've happened if Xiu Li hadn't also been in the closet with DuBolaire's daughter.
Annalisa stood up and helped Xiu Li to her feet. She didn't let go of her hand.
Xiu Li was grinning from ear to ear.
"Dad! Arjun!" she said, and I actually ran into the closet and hugged her.
Annalisa didn't say anything. She just looked at Xiu Li uncertainly. Xiu Li looked at her and squeezed her hand.
Then they both came out of the closet, and I watched awkwardly as my daughter threw her arms around Annalisa's neck and kissed her.

Actually, I lied. I didn't watch. I saw the beginning of it, and then looked away, because that's really awkward.

* * *

We headed back over to the post office, where I had a serious conversation with the USPS. I explained the situation, occasionally handing off the phone to policemen or letting Bill fax something or another.

Eventually, they decided we should still pay off the debt, but we had a month to do so. I sold a few of the extra trucks back to the USPS to get us moving towards that goal. The neighboring post office, now under new management, offered to loan us some money, which we gladly took. So that was that.

After a celebration by all the employees of the post office, I took Xiu Li back to the apartment, along with Annalisa and Arjun.

As we walked over there, Xiu Li and Arjun walked up ahead, talking excitedly. Annalisa and I didn't say anything for awhile. Then I broke the silence and looked at her. "In case you're wondering," I said, "I'm fine with you dating my daughter." She didn't make eye contact.
"Thanks, Mr. Zheng."
"And if you need a place to live until you can get on your feet, you're welcome to stay with us."
"Really?" She smiled faintly. Xiu Li sure had picked a shy one.
"Yes." Wait. "But not in the same room."
She laughed. "Yeah. I figured."

After an entertaining conversation in the TV room, Arjun went home and the girls went to bed. Everyone was pretty tired. Except for me.
So, for the first time in a long time, I decided to stay up late.

I played some video games. I watched TV. And I signed up for an online dating site for the first time.
As I was falling asleep, I worried very briefly that things were about to get boring. But if there's one thing you can count on, it's that there will always be something to keep life interesting.

At that moment, the fire alarm went off.